Wayne Dyer said, "People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most."
When we first published 'Go for No' we sent out a couple hundred review copies. One very large, very successful direct selling company actually sent us a letter explaining that they appreciated us thinking of them but our book and concept was definitely not for them. Although shaken for a moment and surprised at the effort they put in sending us the rejection letter (we never asked anyone to reply!) luckily we ignored that big
'no.' Years later, we've gotten plenty of testimonials from people within that company who have been positively impacted by our training.
But the Wayne Dyer quote got us thinking about rejection and the desire for approval and how it is especially true in the beginning of a venture. Often times when we get a ‘no’ and once the obvious and superficial sting goes away, the
underlying subconscious feelings bubble up.
Those subconscious feelings are things like worthiness or intelligence.
For example, this one ‘yes’ means I will succeed, that I am smart or worthy. In contrast, a ‘no’ means I am destined to fail, I’m not as good or as smart as I
thought.
When you are looking for validation of your work or ideas through each yes or no, you will put yourself on a painful emotional roller coaster ride. And although you can have massive influence, ultimately you have no control over what people are going to do or decide.
Therefore, the truest way to have peace in
your life and business is to separate yourself from the outcome. Can you control what someone else is going to do? No. But you have total control over your behavior. Execute the behaviors you know it takes to reach your goals, in this case, 'going for no' and making the asks and don’t look for validation in the results.
When we got that letter, we could have decided that no direct selling company would ever want our book. And it was so early on, part of us wondered. But we put our heads down, said, "that's interesting" and moved forward with our plan.
Don't slow down to interpret each yes or no as a tea leaf prediction for your future success. The people who take the time to share with you why you won't succeed, have no idea what you're capable of and have no special insight into your future. Don't seek that approval (simply say, "that's interesting!") and keep moving forward with your plan.
