Thanks for the kind emails from last week's Recommends section where I suggested you can always reply to us. You guys are the best! 

Today's Noteworthy Thought is about what "loving no" really looks like.

"Loving No Means: Facing fear. Practicing Courage. Enjoying the process. Becoming resilient." 

Being Liked Does Not = Being Productive
by Andrea Waltz

It's Valentine's week so a great time to talk about relationships and selling. 

Most conversations feel pretty good right up until they don't go anywhere. You build rapport, ask questions, agree on the same points. The call ends on a pleasant note, maybe a vague "next step." 

You end the meeting thinking, that went well. Then nothing happens. 

Some people will think, "I just need to build better relationships. If people liked me enough, surely the decision would follow."

But liking someone and deciding to change are not the same thing. 

What 'Challenger' (aka: The Challenger Sale) research shared years ago is something most people don't want to admit. Decisions happen not just from rapport but because a problem needs solving or something requires changing.    

Salespeople often confuse emotional connection with effectiveness. 

They avoid saying the thing that might disrupt things so they soften questions. Don't push, don't make waves... except it winds up that the other person, the prospect, leans back and says, "no, that's not it."

This is a Go for No moment. 

When you're willing to hear no, you stop managing the interaction to preserve likability. Or measure how smooth the conversation felt. 

You start asking questions that show reality, expose a gap or bring up stuff you'd honestly rather not discuss. Questions that could end the deal early.

The irony is that avoiding "no" doesn't protect the relationship. It just delays the truth and a decision. This is expensive in time, emotional energy, and momentum for you and for them! 

It's not that relationships don't matter. It's that they don't necessarily do the hard work you think they do. 

We are not in favor of being transactional but we do want to stop confusing being liked with being effective. When you understand this, you can have more courageous conversations and get to a no or yes, faster.