My good friend was studying to be a Advanced Sommelier. (Basically a wine expert.) She had to travel to another city and pay $495 to take one of the exams.  

Except her phone alarm didn't go off. She overslept, missed the test. The next one was months away and of course required the fee again. 

As she was telling me this I felt awful for her and said what I could to make her feel better about it.     

There’s a strange double-standard we all carry around. 

A friend misses a deadline? Your advice: "Life happens. You'll get it next time."
A coworker stumbles in a presentation? You say: "Don’t worry, that room was tough."
Your kid tries something new and fails? You affirm: "I’m proud of you for even trying."

But when you fail at something or get a no... 
Suddenly you're on trial for all your life choices. 🤣

We seem to hold ourselves to impossible standards we’d never apply to anyone else. Dr. Albert Ellis talked about how we attack ourselves in ways we’d never attack another human being. He said the real issue isn’t the failure - it's the belief that failure says something awful about who we are. That's where the suffering comes from.

What if you got to treat yourself the same way you treat your favorite people?

"You’re human."
"You tried."
"You’re still in the game."
"Go again."

What a concept, right?
If you think about it, the fastest way to stay in motion especially in a Go for No world is to stop punishing yourself for being a normal person who sometimes gets normal results.

Everyone else gets a pass. Maybe it's time to give yourself one too?