In his book, "Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook" Gary Vaynerchuk makes the case that in online marketing and social media, it's all about giving value before making an ask. In fact, you've probably heard the advice: "Give, give, give… then ask."

It’s not wrong. Generosity matters. Creating value matters. No one wants to feel like they're in a one-sided relationship or thought of as nothing but a "taker." 

But here’s the part that often gets overlooked: asking is not the opposite of giving. Asking is part of it. 

When you ask for a meeting, you're giving someone the chance to say yes, to move forward, to get help and solve a problem. In other words, asking is serving. 
This is where many people get stuck. They think if they just keep giving without asking, it shows they care.  

But sometimes, it does the opposite, it creates confusion. 

People start wondering, "Why do they keep circling but never get to the point?"

Giving and asking doesn't need to be a choice. As our friend Bob Burg, co-creator of the fantastic Go-Giver series would probably say, "Are you giving value? Are you building trust?"

Consider this equation: 

Generosity + Value + Asking = Trust + Relationship (That's the goal!)

But if you're stalling until you think you've built up enough "goodwill" remember that building relationships by giving without attachment, (be okay with a No!) and the right opportunities will follow naturally.

And asking doesn’t kill relationships it kicks them off.